A number of years ago Family Recovery Center was offered a weekly space on the pages of the Salem News. Eloise Traina snapped up the opportunity. Dr. Traina passed away in 2022, and Eloise Traina has retired, but she requested a reprint of the first New Year’s article her husband wrote for the agency. We hope that you enjoy it.

A couple of weeks ago, as I was sitting in the kitchen, having my morning coffee, the Director of the Family Recovery Center emerged from the bedroom. Not being a member of Congress, I don’t have to confess that I sleep with a particular woman. Out of the blue, she said, “Why don’t you write an article for Family Recovery Center (FRC) on New Year’s resolutions?” Taken by surprise and dumbfounded, as we husbands usually are, I think I nodded. Frankly, I can’t think or talk until after the second cup of coffee and a pipeful. Finally, as she was going out the door, she said “I expect that article in a week.”

That called for another cup of coffee and a pipeful. Let alone that it was finals week and I was staring at a huge stack of papers I had to grade from my graduate students, I was now under a deadline from the Director. By the way, it was explained to me that I was employed by FRC only for as long as it took to write this article and my compensation would be the joy from doing so.

New Year’s Resolutions. They usually don’t work. The only resolution most people should make is not to make New Years’ Resolutions. We’re caught up in the frenzy and don’t put a great deal of thought into it. Therefore, we are doomed to fail. You must have a positive, rewarding reason for resolving to do something and a well thought out and written plan. The reason most people fail is because they don’t make a written commitment with a reason for doing something. Incidentally, you can start the journey to success at any time. It does not have to begin on New Year’s Day. Only begin on Jan.1 if you have a well thought out, written plan and specific end result rewards as part of the plan.

By far, the most popular New Year’s resolution is to lose weight so I will use this as an example of how to set and attain goals. First, it is imperative that the goal is yours. You will not reach a goal if you are doing something because someone else feels you should. It will become an immense struggle and hardship because you are not totally committed to it. In the end, the goal will not be accomplished. Second, you have to know why you want to set a particular goal. To say you want to lose weight is not enough. You have to list the reasons why you want to do something and the rewards you will get from reaching the goal. You cannot reach a goal without giving yourself a reward.

The biggest mistake most people make is not having a written plan for goal attainment. Most people defeat themselves before they even begin. Why? Because you overwhelm yourself by the magnitude of the goal. For example, you tell yourself that the goal is to lose 20 pounds. WRONG! What you should state as the goal is what weight you want to reach. For example, you weigh 160 pounds and want to weigh 140 pounds. You must key in on the number 140. Write out 140 and put it away. If you concentrate on losing 20 pounds, you will defeat yourself and make the process a struggle and consider it a hardship. In other words, you are fighting yourself rather than working towards a reward. Isn’t it much easier to go from 160 to 159 rather than from 160 to 140? So, for example, your short-term goal should be stated as such. “My goal for this week is to weigh 159 pounds.” You can go from 160 to 159. You can’t go from 160 to 140.

If you concentrate on getting to 140, you are never having the satisfaction of reaching a goal. But, if you concentrate on going to 159, you will have a feeling of satisfaction and be more motivated to take the next step to 158. And next, is the most important idea you will ever hear.

Success is in the journey and not the destination! If you continually think of the end (140), you are, in fact, telling yourself that you are a failure until you reach 140 (and you probably won’t.) You will become unmotivated and quickly become discouraged. But, if you concentrate on one step at a time and reach the weekly goal you are, and will consider yourself a success. When you go from 160 to 159, you have attained a goal, and to that point in life you are a success.

Most people, on the thing called a diet, play the martyrdom game. They continually think of what they can’t do or have rather than think of the positive results. For example, “I can’t have a piece of blueberry pie” should be turned into, “If I don’t have the pie, I’m getting closer to my goal.” Just think how good you’ll feel about yourself as you reach each short-term goal. And you’ll continually increase your motivation.

Do not use the term diet. This word is negative and implies the martyrdom. We always want to emphasize the positive. So, instead of saying you are on a diet, tell yourself you are on a journey to success. “I am becoming the person I want to be” is what you should tell yourself. You are not losing weight; you are on a journey of success.

Earlier, we mentioned that you must have a reason for the journey to keep motivating yourself. So, as you begin, you list the rewards you will get by reaching your goals. You have to have something positive to work toward. Examples: “I’m going to feel better.” “I’m going to be healthier.” “I’m going to buy that new, great-looking purple and yellow jacket in size ?” This kind of thinking makes everything we do positive and negates a feeling of martyrdom. It makes us want to continue the journey. Finally, if you need a term, use the phrase, “Weight control.” You are not on a diet, you are not losing, you are winning. You are a success!

The above, concerning weight control, serves as an example of the process to goal attainment in any area of life. The process works. You must set short-term goals with time deadlines. Can you eat an elephant? No? Sure, you can – one bite at a time. A few years ago, I decided to go on a weight control program. In a year, I shed a lot of pounds and reduced my cholesterol level to what is considered acceptable. Difficult? Yes, but very rewarding each step of the journey. I could give suggestions as to what and what not to eat, but I do not want to be charged with giving medical advice. The AMA is having enough of a problem with Dr. Kevorkian.

Check with your physician and develop your program. As for me, I’ve found the things I like and are conducive to weight control and cholesterol reduction. Also, and to be humble about it, I’m a decent cook to the disappointment of the director of FRC, who is not as big a fan as I am of potatoes, eggplant and no-fat salad dressing. You’ll find what you should avoid and some thought and creativity will make for a good experience. Is it difficult? Yes. Is it rewarding? Yes. You have to be willing to pay the price.,

There have been many famous sayings in American History. “I shall not return.” “The buck stops here.” And most recently, “I did not have sex with (fill in the blank).” Personally, I like President Bush’s, “I will not eat broccoli.” My sentiments exactly! But that’s the point. I’ve found what I like and it isn’t easy to avoid certain foods but you do want the rewards. I do and am willing to make the sacrifice. You either do it or you don’t. Finally, remember that goals are personal. You do not owe anyone an explanation for anything you do. In fact, I am the only person who knows where my goals and rewards notebook is kept.

So, on New Year’s Eve, I’ll be thinking about you as I munch on my low-fat crackers dipped in no fat yogurt, washed down with no calorie root beer. Yummy! Will you join me, Eloise, FRC staff and readers? We all wish you success and have a fine 1999.

Michael J. Traina, Ph.D., was a professor of business, Kent State University College of Business and Graduate School of Management.