We have just celebrated Thanksgiving and Black Friday. I think my favorite holiday in my adult life has been Thanksgiving. My family, including my brothers, their wives and children, gathered at Mom and Dad’s house, later at my husband’s and my house, and now at my brother and sister-in-law’s home or the home of one of my children. Age has a little something to do with it, but there is the passing down of tradition to younger generations and hoping the traditions will continue when we have passed on.

Why my favorite holiday? Because when we gathered for that delicious dinner and enjoyed the love and fellowship some wonderful things happened. The family ties were strengthened, past trespasses were forgiven, and nobody had to feel bad because they could not afford to buy gifts for each of 35 people or so. We all were together. We remembered funny things from all of our years together. We were assured that none of us was alone, that we were accepted and loved. And there were the games like Uno that even the children could play.

And I loved the pure joy I saw in my mother’s baby blues because she had all of her children, all of her grandchildren and a few extended family members in one place. She was all about family.

Our family has been fortunate not to have experienced substance abuse firsthand. Everyone is not so blessed. But no family is problem-free. We had our challenges, too. But we were together and we could stand strong together.

First, we should count our blessings instead of our troubles. If we look at what we have that truly matters – good health, a stable roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes to wear and shoes on our feet, and the assurance that we are loved by someone, even if those someones are far away from us – we are very blessed. I count the love of God among my personal blessings, as well.

Communication skills are blessings, too. So often we don’t LISTEN to what someone else is saying so we miss the cues that otherwise might help us see someone asking for help, someone in serious trouble, someone who feels deep loneliness, so deep he or she sees no good reason to continue, or so lonely the persons disappear because of feeling that nobody cares about or truly loves them, no one will miss them.

How did we miss the red flags? We are human. And perhaps the whole story is not known. Unfortunately, I don’t think I know anyone who can read minds or has a reliable crystal ball. We need to LISTEN.

When I started college at the age of 26 or so, I would be required to take a speech class. I have never liked standing up in front of a crowd. I took a speech class called “Listening.” It sounded like an easy class and I would not be required to stand up and give speeches. I have to tell you, though, I learned how important it is to LISTEN, to be present in a conversation and read body language, to recognize what someone meant when they said or did certain things. But sometimes, like everyone else, I have dropped the ball in communicating. Communication. It is important in relationships.

I know Thanksgiving was a couple of days ago, but it is not too late to sit down with a cup of tea (or coffee, or whatever your beverage of choice is) and think about your blessings list. Maybe jot it down so you can look at it and reflect on those things that you are thankful for, and the people you are thankful to have in your life. Carry this attitude of gratitude with you into December and the season when all the world falls in love.

Family Recovery Center has professional staff who are ready to listen when you have no one else to talk to. The goal is for the health and well-being of all. Contact the agency at 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468; or email info@familyrecovery.org. Visit the website at familyrecovery.org. You can find Family Recovery Center at Facebook. FRC is funded in part by United Way of Northern Columbiana County.