As the world strives to reach a point beyond “languishing,” everyone wants the same thing: normal. On your list of things that money can’t buy, what words are you looking for? Some words that come to my mind include hope, faith, resilience, friends, family, children, recovery. Everyone has had to recover from something.

When you think of the happiest person you know, pause for a moment or three. Why do you suppose that particular person is so happy? No matter what they face – and they have times of adversity just like everyone else – they manage to look on the bright side, to hold positive thoughts. What makes them so optimistic that things will get better? How can they be so satisfied in the moments, especially the darkest ones?

Hope is “to expect with confidence.” (Wikipedia.)

“Hope is the belief that these challenges and conditions can be overcome, is the foundation of recovery,” advises SAMHSA (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration.)

Where does your hope come from? How do you define it?

Faith most often is associated with religion. “At its most general, ‘faith’ means much the same as ‘trust,'” says the Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy.

People who live in recovery will tell you they need something bigger than themselves. They define that higher power in their own terms. For some, the belief is in a Supreme Being who rules the universe for good.

Recovery is the process of change through which people improve their health and wellness, live self-directed lives, and strive to reach their full potential,” states SAMHSA. The power of recovery is supported through relationships and social networks, with family members often becoming the champions of those loved ones in recovery, not an easy path to take. (Stress, guilt, shame, anger, fear, anxiety, loss, grief, isolation.)

Every human being had help to become the persons they are. The idea of estrangement, a growing practice, is disturbing. Who does it really help? What solutions really come from it? But how do you tolerate the disrespect, the despair, the anguish that caused the estrangement in the first place?

Resilience is “the ability to overcome serious hardship while others do not,” comes from Harvard University’s Center on the Developing Child, which explains the factors that lead to resilience. They say “the single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver or other adult.”

Do you see why the role of parenting is so important to the well-being of the family, the strength, endurance, self-discipline, persistence … the virtues? Mom and Dad have the power to set their children’s feet on a solid foundation they will build on for the rest of their lives.

Children who have been guided through difficulties by caring adults – family and community – are more resistant to adversity, says the Center on the Developing Child. Do you see why everyone is a stakeholder in the raising of children? By the words you use, the actions you take, you influence the community around you. Youth are watching and learning from the adults around them.

Solid adult-child relationships, the sense of knowing that they can handle the things that come at them, the times they are challenged and have the skills and self-control to get through it with sources like faith, hope and cultural traditions.

“Learning to cope with manageable threats is critical for the development of resilience,” says the Center on the Developing Child. But it can be a learning experience to help children to grow … resilient. “The capabilities that underlie resilience can be strengthened at any age.”

As you consider these words, think about your little corner of the world. Take what you can use and toss what you can’t. The hope is that you can reach your own greatest potential in the days and new year ahead, and that you can help your children, grandchildren, the kids you are close to achieve theirs, as well.

Addiction has no address, but Family Recovery Center does. For more information about the education, prevention and treatment programs for substance abuse and related behavioral issues, contact the agency at 964 N. Market St., Lisbon; phone, 330-424-1468; or email, info@familyrecovery.org. Visit the website at familyrecovery.org. FRC is funded in part by Columbiana County Mental Health and Recovery Services Board.